A Lesson On Perfection

by May 27, 2020

I received a lesson on perfection from my husband and a firepit. Well, let’s not tell my husband okay? Let’s just keep that part between us. But yes, he has wisdom at times, and many times he doesn’t even know it. What I was reminded of, that planning the perfect experience includes embracing the subtle imperfections.

Many times you want the very perfect experience, nothing to go wrong, everything is to go as planned. You feel that if things aren’t exactly right, then you are not receiving the best experience that you should be. This is how I felt on a night this weekend when me and my husband were deciding on whether or not to do a firepit.

My husband, is always very decisive and goes right from the gut. However, being a recovering perfectionist, I consider many other perspectives to make decisions. So it came down to this. He wanted a firepit, and I was not quite convinced it was the perfect night. On his side, he felt it to be true. On my side, although I considered it to be true, the forecast was not favorable, the sky was gray with dark clouds, and the mosquitoes were on a mission.  So my feeling was totally opposite his and I felt that a fire pit wasn’t a good idea.

However as it got closer to the opportune time to start, my husband figured he was going to go for it. And his hunch was right. Although cloudy and grim, it turned out to be a good night to light a fire. As the night went on, our neighbors saw the opportunity to and came out to join in. Eventually, the clouds parted and the stars shined brightly on us and in a way saying that if you have a little bit of faith, things usually work out.

I say all this because I realized I was reminded of a unique lesson that night at the fire. There is beauty in the imperfections of life. And perfectionism can prevent you from seeing the beauty in the most imperfect moments. I could even stretch it to say that a great event planner, uses imperfect nuances of an event and turns them into beautiful memorable moments.

If you are like me, you are type A, you want to have control of absolutely everything. And although we bask in how good this makes us feel, we might need to pump the breaks. Perfectionism is like a dirty word wrapped up in a beautiful package. Because no one is truly perfect. And putting yourself up on that level is only going to hurt you later because no one can truly reach that level all of the time. Brené Brown, in her book Daring Greatly says it best when she says, “…perfectionism is not a way to avoid shame. Perfectionism is a form of shame.”

If you aren’t careful, perfectionism can hurt you, it can destroy your events, and even harm your life and relationships.  Yes, we want to have a mission to ensure that our events are spectacular, amazing and deliver experiences and memorable moments that change people’s lives. Yet, we can’t allow ourselves to be judged by the imperfections in way that can be harmful to our mental well being.

So, I encourage you to live a little, especially when you feel need to have the perfect experience. Remind yourself that no one is perfect, and give yourself some breathing room. You want to reach high and deliver spectacular events, but make sure you aren’t putting harsh expectations on yourself.

So now it’s your turn. Have you struggled with perfectionism? I would love to read the stories of your struggles and how you have overcome them.

P.S. If you want to learn more about Brené Brown and her book Daring Greatly, check out this review.


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